i wish to be normal

"of course i loved you. i killed myself for you, didn't i? of course i loved you"

I hate that I'm like this, so incomplete without someone. I always have been, it's the worst thing about me. In group today we were discussing friendships and someone said they don't have friendships because they are too much work that he had a close friend he would talk to every day and it was too much for him. I wondered if anyone thought that/thinks that of me.

That i'm too much work. I know I think i'm too much work. I have the inability to be alone because once I'm alone I start thinking, and you can swear the world is ending when I do. I wish to be normal, I don't know what normal is but I know it certainly isn't this.