I live in dreams

In order to get through my days, weeks, months, years I live most of my life in dreams. I have a multitude of fake realities all existing at the same time right now and they all help me avoid my reality. It’s easier to deal with when I have a place to escape to, that’s called avoiding but it’s what I need. When those fake realities get crushed because of something that happens in my reality I take it so personally, even though it’s fake and I know it’s fake. But parts of me say “why is this person okay with not living in this awesome fake reality i’ve created?” (they don’t even know about it and i don’t want them to). When those fake realities are crushed, I remember how small I actually am, how for many people i’m just someone in their phone, and for the people around me i’m someone that is nowhere close to who i actually am.

and then i shrink

and shrink

and shrink

and i’m all alone